He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
