So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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