her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
