fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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