and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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