he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
