the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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