She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
