Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
