No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
