My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
