I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just want nice things and good sex
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
