I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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