So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
