not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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