me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
