you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
