I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
