Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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