Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
