You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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