honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
