dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
