I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
tell me about the eggs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
