he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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