i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
