are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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