My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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