Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
