Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
mondays should just be called national damage control day
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
