it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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