i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
