he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
