her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
