STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
