The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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