OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
