Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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