I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
