yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
