So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
