Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
