idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
