He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
