I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
