why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
