were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Houston, we have a blender
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
