yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
