I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
