He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
