dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
PANTIES FOUND
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